Not so long ago I remember looking at myself in the mirror, looking deep into my eyes and not recognising the person who was staring back at me. I searched and longed for the person I knew was inside but when I looked, it was dark and the fire within that once burnt so bright was now barley even a flickering flame on the wick.

I was lost in the depths of a deep ocean, in the darkest deepest place, with almost no light, no sign of the surface and no idea how to make my way up for air. It felt like I was slowly drowning not knowing which way to turn and how to get back to the light.

I was me, but a shadow of me. I felt that way because I was not aligned with who I was, who my soul was. I was so out of alignment, I was not listening to the callings within, I was not honouring myself and I was just trying to fit into the mould I thought should be.

I was energetically all over the place and not plugged into myself, instead I plugged into who I thought I should be. I straightened my hair, cut it all off, wore clothes that made me look 10years older than I am was…..

…….I think it was me trying to straighten out my life (it was an outward reflection of my inner world)…….

…..I was pushing down the wild free spirit that was the essence of me, who once danced freely and wildly but who now sat in the corner, longing to move, to perform, to show her light and yet I had forgotten how, so strapped down by what I thought I should be. I had forgotten everything, who I was, what I liked, even what music I liked and what clothes I liked to wear, I had lost ME.

Then one day everything changed. One day after I had the courage to break free from all that I knew to step into the unknown I washed my hair let it go curly. It was like I went though I sudden transformation, the wild, free side of me had been unleashed and there I was, the real me, or at least a strong sign of her looking right back at me. “There she is” I thought “There she is” as a huge smile spread across my face.

From that day until now I have spent a lot of time cultivating so much self love, self appreciation, courage, trust, tuning into my gut and intuition and most importantly authenticity. I stood strong in that, loving every perfectly imperfect part of me. No longer would I straighten out my life or conform to the norms of society, I would commit to being true to me.

So 3 ways to recognise you are not in alignment-

  1. You have forgotten what you like.
  2. You look in the mirror and do not recognise the person looking back at you.
  3. You get a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that you cannot stop, like a scratch you need to itch.

Now today, I stand proudly, softly, strongly, vulnerably, authentically, lovingly more me than I have ever felt before. I am me, I feel me and I commit to the journey of me, growing, challenging, stimulating me continuously and never giving up on my dreams and my souls purpose. I am here for a higher good and never again will I dull my light, not listen to my inner voice and lose myself in that way again.

Do you feel lost? Have you lost yourself and who you think you are? What you are her to do? What you like? Don’t recognise the person staring back at you in the mirror? I have been there!

Part of that journey as many of you know, part of what changed my life so profoundly and allowed me to step forward into the unknown was writing. The most powerful healer, manifestor, channel for answers, to find your purpose and creative platform I have ever used and now use every day with me and my clients. To find out more please pop your email onto my mailing list and find out how it can help you find you again!

So much love and light,

Han xx